I think I had enough of Indian prejudice

24 06 2010

Some things just get to me… annoy me terrible… disgust me… and so on… And right now I feel like I had enough of this country… I hope I will change my mind after a good night sleep… if that will come!

In my first month in India one of our intern friends, Olga, brought in our apartment one of her acquaintances…  A week later, the guy ended up in our apartment again, without Olga… We were going out and he joined us… I mean why not? We were a big group anyway.

He wrote me an email today, asking me how’s life… I refused his FB friend requests a few times…  We are not really friends and I really don’t add absolutely everybody on FB. Reading his email, I remembered a comment Ayush made about seeing a picture of me and Diana from that party, on his FB profile with a lot of rude comments added to it… At that time, I was like… whatever…  But seeing the comments right now… I just got mad…

If you don’t know me, why the hell are you talking about me?… Just because I am white and I have blonde hair, it doesn’t mean it’s ok for you to talk s___ about me…

Here is a sample:

Apoorva Joshi :„these imported girls are loose of character and fast of ways. this jain, is trying to cover up his indecencies by playing the white card. frankly, i have no respect for such women.” (BTW, the guy has a profile picture with Gossip Girl star Blake Lively, which is quite white and quite blonde. He probably dreams of sleeping with her every night, hoping that she is loose of character and fast of ways!!!)

I must admit I am quite happy with my life so far. I have 3 national awards in Romania, one of them handed by the Romanian president at that time, Ion Iliescu, a second one by the European Commission in Bucharest. I finished my university studies in top 20 in my year, I was involved in AIESEC for 4 years, including at national level as Vice President Communication. I have lived and worked in Ghana for 6 months and now I am in India on my own… So normally, the comments offend me!!!

This country has so many double standards that sometimes it’s just makes me sick. Being reduced to an „Imported Girl”, „Loose of character” and „fast of ways” it’s just 2 much right now… Some people should get a life… Maybe I should stop have Indian friends for a change, be a little racist… Other Indians might get the wrong idea… I mean… white girl socializing with Indians… How about that! Oh, you have darkish skin… please don’t speak with me… I am white and somebody might get it wrong! But I would never do that. I am surrounded by great people and I consider myself lucky to have them as friends!

God, I am so happy that I was born and raised in Romania!!! I could be the biggest harlot in this world, it shouldn’t be anybody’s business… As long as I do my job right, I respect you, I respect my promises, so on and so forth, why in the world you feel the need to criticize me? If you don’t know me, just keep your opinions to yourself, wise guy… It’s like you would say it’s ok to rape a woman in a bathing suit on a beach in India or at a pool party, because she, being dressed like that, was looking for it!

And now, that I cooled off a little.. I am just going to sleep… Hopefully I am going traveling this weekend in a place where they don’t speak English and I am not able to understand what they are talking about!

Me… sick and tired! Even my happy self reaches its limits sometimes!

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16 responses

24 06 2010
Dheeraj Daga

Hello Alexandra,

i have read your blog, and i am personally feeling very bad. i dont know that person but i feel sorry for him.
I think these “types” of people are every where in the world not especially INDIA.
not all peoples here are like that! It is a great Country like Romania.
i respect your views, and i can only apologise to you for “that” person wrong doing.

regards

24 06 2010
alexandrabirladianu

Hi,

You are perfectly right. There are this kind of people everywhere… It’s just the first time in my life I interact with them… On the long run, it will never change the way I feel about India and about the amazing people I met here… But on the short run… it just gets to me 🙂 And today it was one of those unhappy days 🙂 You shouldn’t feel bad, it’s nobody’s fault… Actually it’s his parents fault for providing him with a poor education and a poor way of thinking 😦 Life… 🙂

24 06 2010
Dheeraj Daga

hey
you are a way more learned and well educated person, than that loser.
so please dont get upset about some third persons behaviour, watch the Soccer, and go to sleep. and tomorrow rise and shine again 🙂

i wish you’ll have gr8 time working here. 🙂

cheers!

24 06 2010
Ovidiu Suciu

something interesting happened to me at MACH 2010 (Birmingham), a regular industrial international fair. One of the Indians managers who made a joint venture with our company and were present at the fair, first time outside India, told me that I should not speak with the Polish girl next stand because I’m married. I was surprised to see this kind of attitude and his dis-consideration for me just because I had a chat with the girl (and her male colleagues) from my ex-company in Poland. Seeing your post makes me understand better the society where he comes from…

27 06 2010
alexandrabirladianu

Hi Ovidiu, India is a country full of contrasts… that’s why I am here 🙂 I guess I was unlucky to have such an encounter, since 80% of the time I am surrounded by really great people… It was just our luck to meet these people… and we have something to learn from each experience 🙂 Hopefully this will be the last one like this 🙂

27 06 2010
Hari Shankar

Alexandra,

The desperate young Indian male. And there are plenty of them 😦 Unfortunately, right and effective education has not yet penetrated most of India. For now, all I can advise you is to be wary of this fact at all times here, at least in north India. I have felt that the rest of India is much better in this regard.

Please don’t paint the whole of India as prejudiced due to one-off incidents like this. It is just a heady mix of untreated xenophobia and poor education. It’s not anything comparable to the racism that many Indians have faced in the west. As an Indian, I apologize for the agony you had to go through. As a nation, India has grown and matured a lot in the past decade and I really believe that the coming generations will have access to real education, and hopefully another person wouldn’t have to face this ever again.

Sincerely,
Hari

27 06 2010
alexandrabirladianu

I am sorry if I did that… I don’t consider all Indians prejudiced… but I met some that are, and my friends have met some that are like this… and I guess when you are reduced to something like that by someone that have only seen you in a picture… for a moment you forget all the other great people that are Indians and make your life beautiful 🙂

24 06 2010
fwd post: another truth about INDIA! « Emotions at high level™

[…] [2] Blog – Alexandra B. […]

24 06 2010
flybynico

We all have our bad days… but what I admire most in you is the optimism so go get it back. It cannot be worse than the time you got robbed in Ghana, right? 🙂

Keeping my fingers crossed for as many good moments as possible!

Nico

27 06 2010
alexandrabirladianu

Nico, you are very right 😛 Somehow, I felt that Ghana prepared me for any situation… it was not the case with this one 🙂 But now, after a few days and one trip to the mountains for rafting my optimism is back in place 😀 Thanks a lot for keeping your finger crossed 🙂 I am all over my head in this and I definitely need support 😛

25 06 2010
Lucian

Hi Alexandra.

Hang in there and let the water flow over the rocks, or let the dogs bark while the caravan passes, hehehehehe… Even in your own neighbourhood some people will find something to distinguish you from others and call you names or give you attributes just because you’re a bit different. Don’t mind this guy or others that will come, he’s probably just envious or angry that he tried to reach for the grapes, but couldn’t and now he goes on telling everyone they were not ripe…

Life goes on, you happy 🙂

27 06 2010
alexandrabirladianu

Thanks a lot Lucian 🙂 I guess his picture with Blake Lively says everything about the grapes 😛 Life does indeed go on… me happy 😛

25 06 2010
Eu acum 3 ani… – o leapsa: Ce faceai acum 3 ani? | Titus Blog

[…] de multe poveşti s-au mai strâns. Ar fi foarte funky să dau mai departe leapşa asta către : Alexandra, Adi, Cezar, din lumea mea şi către oricine se simte inspirat sau doritor de un remember. June […]

27 06 2010
alexandrabirladianu

Titus, in seara asta raspund si la provocarea ta 😀 Am fost la munte sa fac un pic de rafting… caldura ma ucidea incet incet 🙂 Ti pup

18 07 2010
quake3fanboy

Well written and I can’t say I blame you. The very aspect that fascinates most people about India is secretly also the cause for such misbehavior; I.E. the culture.

In our society, so much as talking to or touching a girl is considered inappropriate, it sort of becomes a thrill for most teenagers to do the opposite. Foreigners are easy targets because of the Indian perception that their lifestyle and definition of the word ‘modesty’ are very liberal. I feel sorry for your bad experiences, while admiring your effort to not generalize. I hope the rest of your stay has better experiences en-stored.

18 07 2010
alexandrabirladianu

Thank you 🙂 Yes, India is full of contrast but I am very happy to be here, even if sometimes it’s hard to cope with certain situations, the homesickness making them even more challenging 🙂 I am trying to keep my mind and eyes open and understand that not everyone is like that 🙂 I also hope that the rest of my stay has better experiences en-stored 🙂

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