India and I,

25 07 2010

I have pieces of my heart left everywhere...

In the thoughts I posted lately on my blog I gave the impression that I don’t like India. And sometimes I just don’t. It was a very difficult month for me… month no 4. But that doesn’t mean India is an ugly place. Sometimes it’s hard, very hard… but sometimes it’s just beautiful. And full of wonder and joy. Sometimes it makes me wish I could cry… and sometimes I restrain the shouting and the pain in the very last moment. And there are times when I don’t restrain it at all 😦

I believe that this last month was again meant as a lesson for me. I said earlier that my faith in God sometimes exists… and sometimes it doesn’t. The truth is I believe in a greater power… and I believe this was just another lesson to be learned. Something I once knew and I forgot for a while… I cannot control everything. It’s the one impossible thing in the world. And it’s a good idea to sometimes embrace the love and the hate, the pain and the joy… the fight inside your mind. I cannot control everything. I cannot have everything. That doesn’t mean I won’t try 😀 I believe this is pure human nature…

I saw Inception today… and I know that most people think about dreams and if maybe something like this could be real one day… What touched me the most in the movie was Cobb’s desire to go home. I think in the end, we are all searching for our home; we all want to be home. They say home is where your heart is. Right now my heart is in so many places and belongs to so many people… And it belongs to India too… sometimes the pieces scream to be together, and the pain comes in a fury… but sometimes they understand that it’s not the right time yet…

I miss my home just like I miss Ghana, just like I miss my best friends, just like I miss my MC Team, just like I miss so many other things… and this time lovely India got the blame, like Ghana got it a year ago. And I know that I will miss India when I will go home…

I am trying to cope with everything. I really am. I am not always successful but small things help… It’s a love/hate relationship. Today it was love… I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I guess that’s just part of the experience 🙂

Me amazed after seeing Nolan’s work of art… There are truly incredible people out there…

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3 responses

26 07 2010
India, love and hate relationship « Anca Onuta's Blog

[…] night I was checking the Facebook updates and I found Alexandra Birladeanu’s post: India and I, which inspire me to write this reply […]

26 07 2010
Anck

I still without understanding what India has that sooner or later we all reach that point when we want to go home. It’s true that at the beginning is what we look for, but we don’t expect to be so strong and one to accumulate so much frustration.
I wrote a related post here: http://ancaonuta.wordpress.com/2010/07/26/india-love-and-hate-relationship/

11 08 2010
Roomy

I really love this post!! (Why on WordPress I can’t tag post “Like it”?) So true, so honest.. You believe in right things and look at this world from the right perspective.

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