Why do we have to have a plan?

7 10 2010

Lately I have less and less time for me. When I do have time I don’t feel like writing. I couldn’t pull myself together to even write about my holiday. It was a good holiday for me at it came at the right time. I also realized how different I am from one of my best friends 🙂

Do I have to? Do I? Really?

Cosi coming here made me realize that I don’t want to stay in India for more than one year; at least this is how I feel now. I do change my mind a lot but I am so very close to make my decision… Sometimes I feel like it’s time to go back to Europe, to be closer to my family and friends. Other times I am having such a great time at work and I don’t see myself doing something else… But life isn’t just work and I feel so far away from everything. Even my close close friends, whom I used to talk with or email all the time, they feel like they are lost to me. And that makes me really sad. I know that people have different priorities in life but I don’t want to feel like I am losing all the people I care about. But this is how I feel right now.

On the other hand I have less than 6 month here and I have seen so little of India. I only had 2 trips and saw 4 places. It’s like I lost my taste for travelling and adventure. In Ghana we were seeing places all the time, and we were having fun 🙂 I want to change things, now that the weather is so much better 🙂 I don’t want to leave India like this! I see pictures with beautiful places and I am telling myself… “Yes, it’s time to go there! And there! And there!”

To be honest Goa was a disappointment. It wasn’t bad but listening the way people speak about it, you expect heaven. It’s a nice place, but it’s no heaven, realistically speaking.

Jaipur was so much fun though 🙂 I totally loved it and coming back to the concrete jungle was a very depressing thing! Sometimes I really hate this place! Starting with 15th of October I am initiating my “Getting to know the real Delhi” month… Every weekend I plan to go around Delhi: temples, museums, markets, restaurants, exhibitions, plays, everything that there is to see. Now that the metro is totally linked and the weather is so good, I have absolutely no excuses. I think I am the only person that wants TCWG 2010 over. India is doing really great, btw 😛

In the next 6 months I plan to also visit Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. I hope I will manage to do it, just to get a small taste of it 🙂 I am considering, among other things, a job in Malaysia 😛 I know. At the beginning of the post I said I want to go back to Europe!!! Can I please have them both? Of course not, this is real world, not my perfect fantasy! And it’s not just my decision any more!

I am at a point in my life when I really don’t have a plan. My 5 years very well designed map was abandoned the moment I put my feet on Indian land. And I feel guilty that I left it just like that. It’s my birthday getting closer I guess.

So yes, my main question is… Why do I always have to have a plan? Why can I just be irresponsible and go with the flow? How can other people do it so naturally?

Me… not really looking forward to my birthday. I used to believe that nothing bad can ever happen in October. October is my perfect month! I am not that sure anymore, but I decided to ignore stupidity and try to stick with the plan… the new one I mean :P, at least until I can decide on the next!

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4 responses

8 10 2010
Olga

Heeey Aleex,

woow I think ur becoming partly Indian! Stopping thinking abt having púlans and gpoing with the flow…damn u know very simmilar think was about to happen when I was there. After I came back home I have been trying to keep my thoughts together and not to slip into general lazyness, coz beieve me you this is so easy afeter such a long time in Gurgaon! All you want is peace….
So dont stopplanning, stay on track, list up ur options and chose the best you feel for!!!

Kisses,

Olga

8 10 2010
Alexandra Birladianu

I miss you :* I already gave myself a mental slap and I am back on track 😀 I will tell you all about it when u are online :* Sending a huge hug :*

8 10 2010
andreea derla

sometimes is not so bad not having plans. Life can have nice surprises or if is not a nice surprise for sure it is somenthing from where we can learn. So stop thinking at some plans and take it like it is, at least for a while:) kisses

8 10 2010
Alexandra Birladianu

At least for a while 😀 Very well said 🙂 :*

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