Holiday, Paris and Family

18 03 2014

Beginning of the month, for the first time since I left home in 2008, my family came to visit me. We spent 4 days in Paris and 3 in Brussels and it’s an experience that will probably not happen again anytime soon. The trip, of course, brought back memories…

While they were here, I realized that my family and I were never on a holiday together… unless we consider one weekend somewhere in the Romanian mountains, when I was a child.  I remember it was beautiful and I wanted to sleep in a canopy bed, but my parents didn’t like the host and we ended up traveling 3 more hours, visiting friends. We laughed a lot and it felt good.

I also  remembered being a kid, my dad promising we will go to the seaside in the summer and me packing my bags 5 months in advance. That trip never happened. Romanians, I believe, are all about priorities and vacations were never one where I come from. And that is ok. I guess this is one of the reasons I constantly plan my next big trip, the next city break, the next adventure. Always a restless soul, checking the world map, HolidaysPirates and airbnb.

I don’t know how I feel about being in Brussels for almost 3 years now. It’s maybe time to move on but it’s hard to let go. I think “contentment” can be considered a “worst” enemy! I never want to say, with a bland smile on my face, “I am content”. I want to burst into laughter, smile and show all my teeth and say “I am deliriously happy”… with my home, my city, my career, and the list may go on. I sometimes feel I am in my “I am content” stage of life…. And I am not happy.

But back to Paris, holiday and family. It was lovely and I have a few photos to prove it. It was my family’s first time and Paris, and when my sister was not complaining about one thing or another, we all enjoyed it. Mario was amazing… I don’t think many 9 years old feel “Musée du Louvre”, “Château de Versailles” and “La tour Eiffel” are way cooler than Disneyland… and this makes me a very proud aunt! 😀  “La Basilique du Sacré-Cœur de Montmartre” was my favorite sight, the area is just beautiful. Too bad it was surrounded by booze, cigarette butts and trash… I wish people would show more respect… you don’t have to be religious to do it.

Musée du Louvre

Musée du Louvre

Mairie du Ier arrondissement de Paris

Mairie du Ier arrondissement de Paris

Cloudy with a chance of…

Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris

L’Arc de triomphe de l’Étoile

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View from “La Tour Eiffel”

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La Tour Eiffel

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Close to Trocadéro

Lessons in negotiation in the Paris metro 🙂

Basilique du Sacré-Cœur de Montmartre

Basilique du Sacré-Cœur de Montmartre

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Childhood





DOR!

20 04 2010

I guess that after 2 weeks it kind of was the moment to feel it… the longing… I am in my bed now and in front of my open eyes I have this image… the place I come from, the family I miss, the friends I wish I could have taken with me… The heat is somewhere there, in the back of my mind… It’s not so bad now, after the gym and the cold shower… yes, the same one I was complaining about in Ghana… here it’s more than a need! But still the sleep fairy avoids me…

I guess talking today and yesterday with my sister made everything come in a rush… but it’s different from the way it used to feel in Ghana… it lacks the desperation and the feeling that time just stopped and no matter what I am doing, it will never go away  fast enough… It lacks the tears I was praying for in Ghana… It’s so hard for me to cry… I haven’t cried for real since September 2008… Yes, I remember… because when I cry the world falls apart… my world… so I refuse to cry!

This longing is so different now… it’s not painful or sad… it’s just a feeling that refuses to go away… I don’t fight it… I don’t embrace it either…  I don’t want it… but I don’t hate it either…Somehow “maturity” popped into my mind… again I don’t feel it’s the case here… I am not a grown up… not yet… I honestly refuse to be…

The love I feel for my family bursts out in the oddest moments… when my family isn’t besides me… when I cannot scream it, voice it, touch it… I spent 3 months home and in the last 2 I didn’t knew how to show it better and enjoy it… And now I am longing to do it… For two months I felt trapped in my home… instead of enjoying the love cloud and the trust… Every time I am leaving I am saying to myself that next time I will not do the same mistake… But I know that the next time will be exactly the same… Dreaming of leaving… of a new adventure… followed by the longing after the love I left behind…

I would hug somebody right now just for the share pleasure of sharing someone else’s body heat. To quench the thirst I have right now for my love ones… I feel like I am a drug addict that desperately needs a dose… will it help? Maybe…

Me… a little bit homesick… but it will pass 🙂

PS: In my opinion “DOR” is the most beautiful Romanian word because it expresses love and longing for something you cannot have!








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